Calender Purchasing Anxiety

A lot has been made about this year's Winter Solstice.

That annual visitation by the Winter Solstice Oak King.  Yes, that's a thing.

And it's not just because it's the longest night of the year.

Well, second longest if you're a Mets fan who sat through this snooze-fest.

But because it's the night that marks the END OF THE WORLD.

Because a giant space snake is going to swallow the Earth whole! Maybe, possibly, probably not.

Okay, probably that won't happen.

But you never know.  Very few people believed Adam Sandler could star in a worse movie than Jack and Jill and he pulled it off, so maybe the space snake is a go.

But can you really blame the Mayan people for panicking?  Their calender spans over 5,000 years.  Getting a new one is a huge deal.

To put it in perspective the last time your calender was coming to an end, Gangnam Style wasn't a thing. 

Now it is.

 The last time the Mayan calender came to a close, the alphabet wasn't a thing.

And neither was Ben Franklin.

Think about how anxious you are when you have to replace something you've had for a while.  Now pretend you come from a civilization in which the notion of human sacrifice wasn't off the table.  The anxiety would be off the charts.

On the Nigel Tufnel scale, their anxiety was an eleven.

So, let us do the world a favor. Grab the closest Mayan to you, give them a hug.  And in a calm, soothing voice, direct them to their nearest on-line calendar store.

Perhaps the Angry Birds calendar would appeal to them.