A lot has been made about this year's Winter Solstice.
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| That annual visitation by the Winter Solstice Oak King. Yes, that's a thing. |
And it's not just because it's the longest night of the year.
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| Well, second longest if you're a Mets fan who sat through this snooze-fest. |
But because it's the night that marks the END OF THE WORLD.
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| Because a giant space snake is going to swallow the Earth whole! Maybe, possibly, probably not. |
Okay, probably that won't happen.
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| But you never know. Very few people believed Adam Sandler could star in a worse movie than Jack and Jill and he pulled it off, so maybe the space snake is a go. |
But can you really blame the Mayan people for panicking? Their calender spans over 5,000 years. Getting a new one is a huge deal.
To put it in perspective the last time your calender was coming to an end, Gangnam Style wasn't a thing.
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| Now it is. |
The last time the Mayan calender came to a close, the alphabet wasn't a thing.
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| And neither was Ben Franklin. |
Think about how anxious you are when you have to replace something you've had for a while. Now pretend you come from a civilization in which the notion of human sacrifice wasn't off the table. The anxiety would be off the charts.
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| On the Nigel Tufnel scale, their anxiety was an eleven. |
So, let us do the world a favor. Grab the closest Mayan to you, give them a hug. And in a calm, soothing voice, direct them to their nearest on-line calendar store.
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| Perhaps the Angry Birds calendar would appeal to them. |
